Ten Hearts Kyosuke Kousaka Has Broken (And Other Assorted Drabbles)
by Mx4
Summary: A simple fic about a seemingly simple guy. Not really sure how to classify it. Suggestions and constructive criticism much appreciated on this particular take on the Ore no Imouto universe.
1. Broken Hearts

A/N: First ever entry into this fandom. Hope everyone can constructively criticize or express an opinion of any kind really. On with the show!

{line break}

Ten Hearts Kyousuke Kousaka Has Broken

{line break}

The first time Kyousuke Kousaka ever broke a heart, it was his mother Yoshino's. When she held him in her arms and looked into his eyes after several hours of labor starting just before ten pm and bringing him into the world just after one the next morning, even as he finished squalling and nuzzled into her chest, she couldn't help but feel her heart simultaneously break and overflow with joy and love for her precious little boy. Kirino, while always more accomplished, outgoing and in most conventional senses was the more perfect of the two siblings, Kyousuke has always in his own quietly unassuming way been at the center of his mother's heart ever since he broke it the day he was born. Just like Kirino for their father if one were going to make comparisons. (But that's a story for another day)

{line break}

The second time he breaks a heart, it is the heart of a small brown haired girl who would evolve into a fiery tempered orange haired model of a girl. Kirino had always looked up to and adored him: her cool big brother, her beloved Onii-chan. It was not a single moment, but rather a series of seemingly minor but increasingly hurtful cruelties that she doesn't really begin to understand until years later of having seen and observed other types of siblings and their bonds in action to compare that really broke her heart.

The first time he didn't want to share a bath.

The first time he didn't want to talk about his day with her.

The first time he chooses his friend the plain boring girl over her.

The first time he left her behind.

The first time he chooses his own interests over supporting hers.

The first time he went to a different school that morning without even saying goodbye.

The first time he didn't speak to her all day.

The first time she realized that he didn't know (or really care for that matter) about anything she was doing with her own life.

Each individually would've been bad enough by themselves, but combined with his near criminal apathy toward the world at large and generally pleasant if withdrawn demeanor, it all came together to make him the cruelest tormentor she could possibly have: one that would simply look blankly at her and honestly not even understand what they were doing to her soul. She likes to think that she managed to harden herself towards him and his attitude by losing herself in running, in modeling, in her social life. Until she found eroge, she had trouble believing it even on the really good days. But then she had the misfortune of having him discover her secret otaku hobbies and begin life counseling her. And while sometimes, when no one else can possibly see or hear her except for kami, she thanks the cosmos for giving her back some semblance of the brother she had once loved so much. But he has broken her heart once before. And despite the taped together pieces and patched over parts, it has never fully healed. And so she lives in nightmarish constantly changing state of simultaneously loving her brother and fearing her love of her brother, knowing that at any time he could just as easily break her heart a second time whether he means to or not.

{line break}

The third heart he really breaks is Manami Tamuras'. It's okay though, because she doesn't begrudge him that. She doesn't care that the first time he sat beside the quiet introverted plain glasses wearing girl and extended his hand in friendship when everyone else looked straight through her, she lost her heart to him. She doesn't care that while he considers her a member of his family, he never takes that to its logical conclusion despite her own family all but putting a neon sign up advertising their approval and her own clumsy attempts at indirectly broaching the subject with him all meet with a blank wall of such condensed oblivious that despite having such an enormous crush on him, she sometimes questions its legitimacy. Because she knows in her own mind that sometimes, when the person is good and pure enough, even having your heart broken by them is not truly a loss. Just as when a beautiful sunset shines through your window before the sun disappears into night again, sometimes simply being a witness to such warmth and brightness is beautiful enough in and of itself. Still...despite all that, it doesn't stop it from hurting every time she wakes up simply as his good friend and goes to bed each night in the same state.

{line break}

One may not think as much to glance at his gruff tough cop exterior, but Daisuke Kousaka can have a soft heart underneath that stoic policeman's gaze. Which is why it hurt so much more when he watched his son bit by bit lose the brightness that his little sister Kirino managed to maintain and even cultivate. He doesn't know how to relate to his children as anything but a stern father however. Much like his father and his father before him and his father before him in that respect. He tries to let his beloved Yoshino keep a handle on their emotional lives for the most part, but it still doesn't stop that small pang he feels every time he sees Kyousuke cruising along when before he would've been rocketing into the sky, a bright shining star of a young and happy boy. To see a light begin to shine before dimming is often a sign that it is close to burning out. He knows this just as he knows the sky is blue, the sun will rise the next day and he will love his wife. And Kyousuke hasn't quite reached that final stage. Yet. But…that also doesn't mean he won't. And that's what breaks Daisuke's heart most of all. That sad surety that one day, whether it is by becoming hikikomori or by simply fading through the cracks of life once he goes out into the world on his own; he knows he will one day lose his only son. Not to any act of nature or to another human being, but to Kyousuke himself.

{line break}

The fifth heart he breaks is one of self-proclaimed utter blackness, that of the elusive and mysterious "Kuroneko." Better known to her younger sisters Hinata and Tamaki Gokou as Ruri-nii. At first, he was just the older brother of that annoying Meruru watching dolt that came to the IRL meeting. Then, he was the nii-san she had never realized some childish part of her had always wished would be the bigger sibling for her the way she'd been for her little sisters all her life. And then after that, he was an angel she wished to corrupt. A light she wished to illuminate her darkness. (A crush as her annoyingly straightforward little sister Hinata consistently and incorrectly calls it.) But never the less, she loses her heart and occasionally her mind to him. Especially when his eyes seem to wander elsewhere. (To the Meganekko, to Kirino…well, you get the idea.) It is petty and childish and seven different kinds of humiliating for Kyousuke, but she is the one who came up with the idea of a porn trap to drive a wedge between him and Manami like Kirino wanted. It backfired spectacularly and they both apologized for it, but not for the reasons he thought. He might've mistakenly believed that she herself (she can't speak for the brocon that calls itself Kirino) apologized because she was genuinely sorry to have played the trick. And she is. But mostly she is sorry because it caused pain and humiliation to the wrong person. If it had worked, she would not be an inch repentant and she knows it. But if he happens to have a misconception about it, well…who is she to correct the loving angel who broke her cold heart open?

{line break}

Heart six had felt itself tied tightly with Kirino Kousaka's and believed nothing could come between them come hell or high water. Ayase Aragaki never counted on Kirino being at the modeling shoot they first met at. But soon they were fast friends and soon became (for her at least) friends of the soul. Able to take anything the world did so long as they had each other. That changes when she discovers her friend, her fellow heart, her most precious person has lied to her about a hobby that leads down such a destructive path. She's angry at Kirino's deception, she's angry at Kirino's defense of it and most of all she's angry at the world; for giving her this friend that she is going to lose no matter what. But then something unexpected happens. Her brother, the mildly cute onii-san she met, confessed to being the reason Kirino got into her hobby. Admitted to the porn and the eroge and the general distastefulness of Kirino's chosen…material, was all on his head. And despite being so angry about the whole situation, she knows it is a lie. Because someone who gets into a hobby simply to please someone else, who doesn't come to love it like Kirino evidently has, simply doesn't defend it the way she did. But she wants her friend back even if that means accepting a part of her that was hidden and kept from her knowledge. So her heart breaks a bit as she vents all of her accumulated passions on a subject of her ire that doesn't deserve it nearly as much as she makes out. Don't get her wrong, he still toys with her heart afterward and is still a perverted siscon! But still, he wasn't like that. Not the kind of guy that would force her to break her own heart by lying to herself in order to get her heart back.

{line break}

The heart of Saori Makishima had always before belonged to her family and her elder sister. Then it had belonged to the very small group of friends her sister briefly included her in before cruelly letting it all crumble to the sands of time. Then it belonged to the two young girls with opposing tastes in manga who still managed to become good friends to each other and to her, her first outside that small nakama her sister had built years before. But she never thought she would have to worry about losing it to Kyousuke. Kyousuke the flowing tide. Kyousuke the gentle flame. Kyousuke the man she could see herself falling in love with. Like her in so many ways. Quiet, a voice of reason, often overlooked despite his contributions, allowed others to rely on him even as he was hesitant to do the same. But with one crucial difference. He believed in **himself**. Not the way Kirino did, not the way her sister did, not the way so many others seemed to. He never flaunted himself, didn't often seek reward, didn't seek excitement. But when those who trusted him needed him, he wouldn't back down. It was never about trying to do the right thing with him; it was simply about doing the right thing. So that's why, in a moment of self realization and recrimination, she has the epiphany that even if she does…like him that way…it will never come to be. She simply can't be the one to approach him, not when so many others like Kuroneko and Kirino want and need him so much. And so Kyousuke Kousaka breaks Saori's heart, without even realizing he had it in the first place.

{line break}

Another heart that never expects to give itself to him is the one that beats inside Kanako Kurusu. She wanted to be famous, to be adored by many. And maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when her parents expected her to be as insanely talented (emphasis slightly more on insane in Kanako's opinion) older sister Kanata. She practiced and practiced and attempted song after song until she was like a musical recording machine; able to memorize entire sheets of lyrics at a glance, predict the rhythms of songs and able to time her movements with the precision of a well trained dancer. She doesn't even really know Kyousuke all that well when meeting him as Ayase's manager. And it doesn't take her long afterward to piece together who he really is after seeing him the second time when she's now doing the Meruru song consistently for the show's live tours ever since Ayase tricked her into the lookalike competition the first time. (Don't ask, it's a long story.) But even when he was pretending to be her manager, he was patient. He was kind. And most of all, he was a dull sort of blunt. He wasn't razor sharp words hiding behind bright smiles, lead weights spoken with the feather touch of condescension, he simply…was. And in many ways it was what she wanted and needed. But then she attends his housewarming and sees that **all** his friends are female. And it breaks her heart. Not because she felt that strongly about him of course! But mostly because…Mostly because it means something that hadn't even fully rooted in her mind was forced to wither and die before it even had a chance to grow, let alone bloom.

{line break}

Kouhei Akagi never really lost his heart to Kyousuke the way he did to his own little sister Sena. But still, he considers Kyousuke a close friend despite their occasional sniping at each other. He knew Kyousuke and Manami when they were all a bit older, but still so very young. He knew Kyousuke back when he wasn't so…tired. And even if he's regained some of his fire, sometimes it hurts Kouhei to remember what Kyousuke once was even if Kyousuke himself seems to prefer to just forget about those days. His friend is still there, but he's worn. His once defined edges and corners have been eroded into a smooth circle of bland that while pleasant enough honestly isn't quite the same. Kouhei still enjoys Kyousuke's friendship and all, but sometimes…sometimes he really and truly misses his friend.

{line break}

But the heart Kyousuke Kousaka has been cruelest to and broken so much more consistently is his own. When he was young he tried being the outgoing, outplaying, outracing, outknowing sort of kid everyone figured him to be. And for a while he was. But then he meets and befriends Manami. And her relaxed approach to life made him reevaluate himself and question his own sense of purpose. Eventually, he decides he wants to be normal, to not stand out so much. The saying that comes to his mind when he makes that decision? "The nail which stands out is the one that gets hammered down." That is the first but far from the last time he will break his own heart. He sees a lot more than people give him credit for. He knows Manami thinks she loves him. He knows he is the reason his relationship with Kirino crumbled. He knows he is a disappointment to his father even if the old man never says as much. He knows all of these things and more besides. But in his own way he tries. He tries to be there for his sister the first time she decides to trust him with her hobby after his accidental discovery. He tries to get their father to accept it in his roundabout way. He tries to sacrifice his non-existent standing with her pretty friend Ayase so that they can make up. He tries to be there for Kuroneko and Saori, even if they never really need him nearly as much as his sister. But ultimately, his heart breaks each time he does. Because he knows he will do all of this for them. And ultimately he also knows that he will not do the same for himself unless backed into an absolute corner. That is why he throws himself into the happiness of others, but tries to help them find it outside him, outside his influence. Why he seeks closure from Kuroneko, not rekindling. Why he accepts Ayase's label of him as a liar, even when she admits to knowing the truth. Why he never seeks the hearts of any of the girls he knows and never will. Because ultimately, to reach for something like that would be too much risk for him. And after so many years of having softened and numbed himself to what used to be a painful and exhilarating life, now is sort of a placid lake where the pebbles tossed in by others are the only thing that disturb it and create ripples. But he is at the center of this self-made lake, aware that bit by bit he will inevitably drown in it. And that is what breaks his heart most of all. Not that he is friendless, but that he is directionless. Not that he is alone by circumstance, but by choice. And in the end, he knows he will betray himself no matter how long he attempts to stave or hold it off.

{line break}

A/N: So, um...yeah. Not really sure where some of that came from. But leave a review, a pm or some other sign of existence to let me know what you think. I can't know what you think unless you make your voice heard after all. :)


	2. Blood Ties

A/N: My sincerest thanks to everyone who has reviewed these attempts of mine to ponder and wonder about the potential worlds and possibilities present in Ore no Imouto. I do not own the light novels, nor the characters. Which is probably for the best since I wouldn't know what to do with such awesome responsibility anyway. :)

{line break}

Four Times Kirino Kousaka Becomes An Aunt and One Time She Becomes A Mother

{line break}

1. When Kirino first knew about her brother and the 'Plain Girl' as she always derisively refers to Manami, she was still a young girl, barely entering elementary school, still believing if she chased after her beloved Onii-chan fast enough he wouldn't leave her behind. As she grew older with the two, she always hoped in the back of her mind that he would never choose the glasses wearing young woman over her, especially once he learned of her Otaku leanings. But it is all for nothing. And despite her wishes, one day he announces to their parents that he is dating Manami. She is too internally distraught to see the glimmer of resignation in his eyes as their mother stands up to hug the two and gush over having her son finally make it official.

(Kirino always considers her mother a traitor for that.)

They don't date for long enough, at least in her private opinion, to consider marriage so soon out of high school. But that is what happens. The whole time period between the announcement and the day seems to pass in a complete blur to Kirino. She distanced herself from him, distraught over his breaking his word to her, unwilling to hear his apologies, excuses or justifications. And one day without her even realizing it, he stops trying. Soon years have gone by, she's lost herself in her modeling, in her own life just as before. But this time…this time there is nothing to stop the yawning chasm inside her heart from making itself known. And when Kyousuke and Manami welcome their baby boy Keitaro into the world, she is on the other side of the world, unaware that she has become an Aunt until returning to find that her nephew is over five months old. And when she does, all she can wonder to herself is that unanswerable question of why.

{line break}

2. Ruri Gukou had always carried a torch for Kyousuke. Kirino Kousaka has been aware of this, even when the gothic lolita broke it off with him in order to spare everyone involved the pain of forcing him to choose between the two of them when virtually all of their small circle of friends knew who he would choose.

(His cute little sister she tells herself, even the days she finds it hard to understand why.)

So when it comes time for Kyousuke to move out on a more permanent basis, she is one of the few unsurprised by his willingness to share a place with Kuroneko and try to live together. It still doesn't quell the flames of jealousy when he approaches her and bows before her, on his knees as he gives her permission to date whomever makes her happy so long as she can do the same for him, her distraught feelings causing her to miss the fact that he never once makes direct eye contact with her during the exchange. They aren't even finished with college before Kuroneko begins to show a growth in her abdomen, her happiness seeming to permeate everything she does, her now middle and high school aged sisters pleased about having a nephew/niece to spoil rotten and have give migraine headaches to their older sister on their behalf.

(Tamaki isn't really joking when she says that, but than again, everyone already knew she was the more mischievous of Ruri's two younger sisters.)

Kuroneko's style of art becomes slightly more subdued, drawing less on the supernatural for struggle and begins focusing more on the day to day that comes with every young person who is growing up when they don't feel like they'll ever be ready. Even as it pains Kirino, she knows that it has been good for both her brother and her friend. He grounds her, she allows him to express his more outspoken and spontaneous side in a way he was never free to with her or Manami. So when the graduation is said and done, Kyousuke is working with the same company that once upon a time had attempted to change her Little Sister story to suit their projected audience's tastes and Kuroneko is writing and drawing her own stories about two young adults struggling to figure out the world around them while coming to terms with their own feelings and thoughts.

(Projection much she sometimes snorts before remembering what people might say about her...awkward cough here, Little Sister focused novels.)

And when their young daughter Haruhi comes into the world with a healthy set of lungs that Kyousuke jokes reminds him of Kirino, all she can do is smile with all the bittersweet longing that she has held within her for years now, wishing wishing wishing in a quietly untouched corner of her soul to be able to claim Ruri's place in the hospital bed and by Kyousuke's side. But she's happy for her brother and for her friend. And that's what really counts in the end. Right?

{line break}

3. When Kyousuke claims paternity over the child growing within Sena Akagi's womb, he shocks both sets of families. They demand he take responsibility. They demand he own up to what he and Sena were apparently doing in secret. It is a horrible thing for him to do, to make a child with a woman who is not her.

(Who is not someone Kirino would approve of, the orange haired otaku hastily amends mentally, not willing to take that potential train of thought to its original terrifying conclusion.)

But he confesses to her after the rushed wedding, after the whirlwind of tears and accusations and glares leveled at him that it isn't really his. That it's Kouhei he's taking the fall for. He only tells his beloved little sister, able to go back to living virtually friendless, able to go back to his solitary existence even if he once knew what it was to be a part of a crowd. And much as she wants to tell her friends the truth, she knows they would understand even less than they do now. No matter what people may say about brothers and sisters and their feelings on true love conquering all, it's one thing when it happens to fictional characters that you can simply imagine finding happiness somewhere rather than when it stares you in the face: a stark contrast to the fantasy and the ideal that you have built within the safe confines of your own mind. So she distances herself from her brother like the rest of her friends. They eventually thaw a bit toward him for his perceived betrayal even as they maintain a certain…emotional distance between themselves and him without ever telling him why.

(Something to do with being so much less than they thought he was and yet simultaneously wishing that **they** had been the ones to become the accidental bride for him she sometimes thinks in her more fanciful moments.)

When the first child is born, it has the red hair characteristic of Sena's family; the young boy Kouki never knowing he is a step-child to the man he will call Father and the son of the man he will call Uncle all his life. But the second…the second child is a girl. And Keiya grows into the black hair of her father soon enough, a sharp contrast to her half-brother as they grow up. Making Kirino an Aunt in blood as well as name at last. But that knowledge does not give her comfort that her brother married his friends younger sister to protect their greatest secret. Because when she's being completely honest with herself (an occasion that gets more and more rare these days)…she wishes that they didn't have to cover for the siblings. She honest to kami wishes the siblings had to cover for them.

{line break}

4. When Saori announces that she is being forced into an engagement and that she'll have to go soon, their group is understandably distraught. Despite their status as vitriolic best friends, she and Kuroneko owe quite a lot to Saori in terms of emotional support and understanding. Nearly as much as Kyousuke when they come to think on it. But she isn't sure what to do and neither is Kuroneko. But what she doesn't notice is that later that week her idiotic big brother leaves the house without a word to meet a friend, one he never tells her or her parents the meaning of. Several months later, Saori tells herself and Kuroneko that the engagement is off, that it all got worked out. They are relieved but neither thinks to question the meaning of this sudden change of heart her parents experienced. So when Kyousuke uses his last day moving his things out of the house to tell her and his parents that he's working in one of the companies Saori's family owns in order to prove his worth as their youngest daughter's suitor...well, to put it mildly, he shocks all of them. He even manages to crack even their fathers normally stoic façade. But there is nothing to be done about it now, and even a massive and heated argument they get into soon after behind closed doors and out of their parent's house isn't enough to get Kyousuke to relent with this idea of 'saving' her friend. She refuses to speak to him in a fit of childish pique. And when she sees him and Saori together, she'll talk to the older shyer girl as if her brother isn't even there. Not out of a sense of vindictiveness, but a sense of injury and betrayal that is even greater than when he choose the 'Plain Girl' over her when they were younger.

(Mostly because he had been A} trying to distance himself from his little sister for sometime prior and B} had been straightforward enough to tell her upfront who he was choosing in her mind.)

She retreats from her brother, mostly greeting him civilly and asking his advice on mostly trivial matters if she must, but never regaining the level of trust she built with him before. Which is why she doesn't find out from him, but from Saori that they're expecting when quite some time has passed. They're all grown up and living their own lives, keeping in touch for the most part. And when Saori tells her they're expecting twins, she is genuinely happy for her sempai. Angry at her brother's callousness toward herself as she may be, she can see the visible glow of contentment and happiness Saori gives off. She can't bring herself to ruin that for one of her few true friends. And when the fraternal twins Kaito and Ayaka are welcomed into the world, she sheds tears of happiness and loss as she sees her brother and Saori holding the two newborn babies as if their whole world has become complete for that one moment in time. The absence of her brother pains her. She can admit that. But for his happiness, she would do anything. Even if it means smiling when all she wants to do is bury her face in her arms and cry.

{line break}

5. When she and Kyousuke confess their feelings to each other, a part of Kirino that remained idealistic and young believed that their love for each other would help them overcome all obstacles. Of course, that part of her didn't consider how exactly they were going to do so while still living with their parents, who they were going to tell and how they were going to manage to maintain a relationship when one of them had a very public persona and the other was…well, her biological brother. Thank kami for Mikagami. Mikagami, who knew and actually did pretend to date Kirino so that they could be together without too much suspicion falling on their heads from everyone.

(Especially their mother, who Kirino still sometimes catches looking at them out of the corner of her eye with that oddly inscrutable expression.)

It gets to a point where she has to marry Mikagami, her brother his best man. When she and Mikagami make their vows before friend and family, only herself, her future husband and her brother standing beside him know that she is addressing the vow to Kyousuke himself. Soon enough, Kirino and Mikagami have to leave the country. Before she goes, she and her brother share one last night together. They both reaffirm their love for each other in the most intimate ways possible. As her modeling career took off, Kyousuke had opted instead to follow their father into the police force, to the vehement objections of both his mother and his sister. Kirino had always wanted her Onii-chan to remain safe, to not put himself in harm's way unnecessarily. But while she is away with her "husband" on an extended contract in Europe, Kyousuke manages to get himself in trouble. She and Mikagami don't manage to return from the Christmas party the firm practically forced them to attend until early into the morning.

(Curse her good looks for making her go away at the most inconvenient times she thinks to herself, having looked forward to being with her family this season like so many before.)

When she finally opens her eyes to check her phone, she finds two missed texts, two missed calls and two voicemails. The missed texts are from Kuroneko and Saori, both essentially asking her how her Christmas is and wishing her all the best for the New Year. The two missed calls are from her brother and an unknown number. She goes to her voicemail inbox, eager to hear from her brother. "Hey there Kirino." She hears, as her brother's voice fills her ear. He's breathing heavily however, apparently exerting himself recently. As he continues, her mind also picks up shouts and other noise in the background. "The snow back here is beautiful. Wish I could…" he pauses to catch his breath. Something is clenching in her chest, she feels like her lungs are sympathetically locking up as she listens to him regain control of his breathing. "Wish I could have you here to see it. I…I miss you Little Sister. I love you, hope you're enjoying yourself. Goodbye." The phone message ends with a click. Kirino doesn't know what to make of the message. If it were any other day, it would sound like an ordinary message from her older brother saying he misses her. But the shouting, the heavy breathing…something's wrong. Hurriedly she saves Kyousuke's message before playing the next one. As she listens to it, she hears an almost mechanical voice of a man who calls himself Dr. Omura say that he's calling the listed contacts of Kyousuke Kousaka to tell them…as he completes his dreaded phrase, the phone slips from her nerveless grasp, her legs almost giving out as she races toward the bathroom as she upchucks everything she's eaten the last two days into the porcelain bowl.

(She's screaming and crying and clutching herself desperately trying to make it untrue not real not him no no no.)

But her tears and pleading with Kami for it to be some horrible nightmare for her to wake up from anytime now are all in vain. When she is brought back to Japan, her mother and father meet her at the airport. Her mother and her father's eyes are red. She rushes to her mother and grips her in a hug that could crush bones as the tears rise again against her will. It is only when they're all in the middle of making their arrangements for him several days later that she discovers Kyousuke left something for her to safeguard: his child growing inside of her. As they put her brother in the ground, her hands clutch protectively at her stomach, almost as though she doesn't want their unborn baby to know that its father is dead. That he never will know the truth of their love, that he can never know his father is gone and never coming back. Mikagami is a good shoulder for her to cry on, as are her friends and family. But the one shoulder she wants there is the one who they've trapped under six feet of cold uncaring earth. And when her son is born bawling his small lungs out two months early, she holds him to her as though he is the most precious thing in the world to her. Because even if no one but Mikagami ever knows the truth, she will. She knows her son Kyousuke is the last vestige of his father left in this world. And she will do everything in her power to safeguard what remains of her brother. No matter the cost. And as the tears run down her cheeks for the first time since the funeral, she knows that her beloved Aniki would approve of her resolve. And while it does not erase or dull the pain, it does give her a sense of connection to him one more time.

{line break}

A/N: So...yeah. That's all I got for this installment. Please leave a review, a pm for constructive criticism, ideas or even just to say you were here. Every voice is appreciated.


	3. Alternative Take

A/N: I don't know why, but for some reason, I felt like posting this possible storyline. Please see endnote for further ideas. Oh, and I don't claim ownership for the characters, the anime or the manga they populate. Just in case we all weren't clear on that before.

/

Open eyes. Close eyes. Rub eyes vigorously. Repeat as necessary. Despite her best efforts however Kirino Kousaka, seventeen year old otaku/track star/darling daughter/etc, couldn't get her ocean blue eyes to lie to her. Her brother's room was a study. Nothing inside but a sparse bookcase, a desk with a closed file on it with a built in filing cabinet in the right hand drawers and a strange seemingly out of place bonsai plant on the left hand corner the mid-morning sun shining on it as if to highlight the absurdity of the entire situation. For one thing, she distinctly remembered her brother Kyousuke's bed and things being here last night. While he may have gotten his sense of aesthetics and decoration from their father Daisuke, he had never taken it this far before. For another, she had woken up this Saturday late in the day after having her alarm not go off for a modeling shoot only to find her room being openly covered in Stardust Witch Meruru! paraphernalia as though she had never had to hide it to begin with.

Oh yeah, and she was now apparently several years older than fourteen if the id in her purse and the significantly more developed female body she now possessed was telling the truth. As Kirino stood before her brother's former room, wondering what she was meant to do now, her head started pounding like something primal was beating away at the inside of her brain, her eyes starting to feel like their sockets were a vice squeezing them so tightly that a part of her was surprised she wasn't crying tears of blood. As her eyelids sealed her ocular orbs away from this lying illusion, images started to flash through her head.

Memories of another time, another life, another path.

Memories belonging to both herself and to someone who was her but also not her.

She saw herself as a small child, alone with only her parents and a few other acquaintances for company. She saw that as she grew up, she'd never emerged from a shell (she didn't realize) she had built around herself before joining the track team in middle school; her athletic prowess giving her something to concentrate on that didn't involve trying to reach out in shy tentative ways that would only get her rebuffed from people as they were repulsed. Either by her physical energy or by her…appreciation for the television program and manga series that had allowed her solace during some of her loneliest years. No beloved older brother for her to aspire to surpass. No onii-chan to show what he was missing when her modeling photos were the talk of Japan. No Kyousuke to console or comfort her when she was feeling down. With a feeling of sickness in the pit of her stomach, she opened her eyes again to find that she had fallen to her knees sometime in the intervening time of recalling these memories of her now apparent other life. Desperate to think of something, anything that could've triggered this, she came up blank.

She felt a mantra of denial approaching the point of madness repeating inside her overworked mind, the same refrain of 'This is just a waking nightmare! I'll snap out of it! Come on Kirino pull it together!' running through her head on a seemingly endless loop before she noticed a slight taste of copper in her mouth. Automatically her right hand came up to her face to assess where she was hurt, discovering a trail of liquid running from her right nostril into her lips that left her fingertips a shiny red. She rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door loudly and uncaring of who heard as she threw up into the toilet. All the anxiety and uncertainty and strangeness of everything that had happened over what seemed to be hours (but had in fact simply been minutes at most) combined with the sudden influx of foreign historical facts into her brain that held an extremely conflicting version of those same yet radically different historical facts to force everything she'd eaten in the past few days to empty itself into the shining white comode.

Her mother's anxious voice called to her from downstairs. "Kirino? Are you alright up there?" Oh Kami and all his spiteful minions, how was she meant to respond to her mother Yoshino? This world's Kirino had barely suffered from sickness a day in her life due to her generally reclusive social nature preventing her from interacting too much with other people outside her club and track team meets. (Oh, and how had she somehow wrangled becoming best friends with Kuroneko in the Gaming Club while barely interacting with Ayase or Kanako outside schoolwork?!) After a few dry heaves, she called down hurriedly: "I'm fine kaa-san! Just an upset stomach!"

There was a slightly confused silence at the base of the stairs before she heard her mother call back: "Well, just be sure you get some breakfast if you think you can keep it down." Kirino sighed in badly contained relief, the dry cool surface of the toilet a stark contrast to her sweat soaked and slightly heated brow. She racked her brain trying to think what could've done this to her, why she was in this weird cock-eyed universe where her brother didn't exist! As she took some deep breaths, she decided to employ one of the oldest tactics in her book: 'Act as if.' Act as if onii-chan choosing the plain boring glasses girl over her didn't sting and tear her heart into fluttering shreds. Act as if admiring and enjoying the moe qualities of her sis-con eroges managed to make her forget her brother's voluntary abstinence from her life in all but the physical sense until recently. Act as if her world wasn't falling through open sky and her perception of the universe (or was it universes now?) at large wasn't unraveling at the seams.

As she made her way to the head of the stairs, she suddenly covered her mouth with a start, her eyes widening almost impossibly as it finally occurred to her what might've triggered this strange hallucination/mental break from reality. Last night she'd been in a significantly more philosophical mood, entertaining the thoughts she dare not articulate. But in her forlornness at her brother's density and obvious interest in the dark haired Kuroneko or her aqua maned friend Ayase, she'd rashly whispered that sometimes she wished he wasn't her brother. And now, like so many cautionary fables had written of before, the cosmos had proven that it truly had a warped sense of humor by granting her wish. And in the process, taken him away completely. As she made her way mechanically down the stairs, Kirino's mind was already racing with half-formed thoughts, ideas, plans, machinations and other such issues that needed to be dealt with. Because one way or another…she intended to either find her beloved Onii-chan. Or find her way home again.

/

Slightly Longer A/N: Okay, that's about as far as I got with transcribing the plot bunny that's been ranting in my head for days now. The basic idea of the plot was: Kirino makes wish that Kyosuke wasn't her brother. Some shooting star, mystical item or other cosmic hand-wave later and Boom! She wakes up in a world where she's the oldest and only child. Now according to the plot bunny, it could've gone one of two ways. A) Kirino is in a world where Kyousuke doesn't exist, no ifs ands or buts about it. Or, B) Kirino discovers that while **A** version of Kyousuke exists in her world, it is not _her_ onii-chan. Preferably, he is somehow related to one of the other primary characters lives. For example, Kaoru Akagi: Twin brother to Kohei who competes with each other for their little sister's attention.

Or, Ryudan Makishima: A cousin of Saori who provided the safe harbor and confidence boost she needed to believe in herself when she fell short of her sister's (perceived) standards.

Or, Haru Gokou: younger brother of Ruri Gokou.

Or, Mikan Hellgenki: the new hotshot talent agent who manages Ayase and Kanako's careers.

Or whatever else you can think of. Personally, I wanted to see whether or not any of the other characters he interacted with would still fall for him and what Kirino would do if she discovered something like that. {Like say, discovering he's Saori's cousin, attempting to get close to him only to discover that he and Saori have unresolved tensions between them or something like that.} And then just when she gets to the part where it seems worst...*snaps fingers* She finds herself back in her own world. What, if anything her little trip down Possibility Lane does for her I leave to the potential readers and writers.

And here's where I tell the best part: even if I never finish this story, my version will only be one of what I hope will be others. If you want to take this premise and sprint, run, jog or even walk with it, just let me know so I can admire the fruits of your labor! :) After all, we all have our own voices that deserve to be heard. And I for one, am very eager to see what my fellow enthusiasts think and conceive of when they spring into the sky with a single leap from a provided jumping off point.

Oh, and in case I haven't said it before: Reviews are the coin of the realm. Good, bad, constructive, destructive, it all feeds the flames of creation. They're much appreciated no matter how brief, long, clear or opaque.


End file.
